My biggest fear in life- being in the spotlight. Seriously, piece of gum under a table, that is a comfortable thing and place to be. Spotlight- NOT! I literally typed Channel and said, 'No, no, no- PLEASE don't do this to me'- then she pulled a Channel (what is it with her?? She has some secret power that makes you not be able to say no to her! 'Scott, get a bigger kettle bell- oookay, go faster- oookay, YOU'VE GOT THIS SCOTT'- oookay...) So I said it- oookay. Then I sat here staring at a blank screen for an hour because I don't know what to say; thinking of a long list of people that so deserve this far more than me; thinking I've got a long way to go before I'm good enough for any spotlight. I'm not at my goal weight, not at my goal physically or strength-wise (is that a word?) But now it's all making sense to me- you see, that's just it, at Amazen Boot Camp and Iron Antler CrossFit- it's not about that. It's not about being the best or looking the best, it's about doing 'your' best and helping and encouraging others to be their best. So many of you here have supported and encouraged me on this journey to healthy and I am so grateful for every one of you. A little history- I have never had a healthy lifestyle. I have been thin and I have worked out a lot in order to get that way, but I have never done it right or to be healthy. The goal was approval and acceptance. I have lived on a 12 pack of diet Dr. Pepper, 1/2 a pop-tart and a couple hours of aerobics every day, I have lived on 200 calories a day, I have been anorexic and I have been obese and addicted to carbs and caffeine, hating my body at every stage and never being satisfied with my appearance whether I weighed 90 pounds or 200. I was the kid that never, not even once, did a pull up or a push up during those yearly p.e. tests and everyone laughed at the zero written next to my name and the kid that was chosen last when teams were picked and I never dressed out for p.e. when there was going to be running involved. I have always had a tendency to carry a little weight but I managed to keep it from getting too far out of hand, and then came....the love of my life, (still is, always will be) who loved me at any and every weight, and then....babies! 1,2,3,4 of them! At that point it wasn't about me anymore and I would not starve my babies so I ate well when I was pregnant but had a very messed up metabolism and the weight jumped up with each of them. I was still 'okay' though- and then....everything started to hurt and I never felt good anymore. I hurt more and more and over two years got to the point where couldn't walk normally and the doctor gave me an RX for a handicapped placard- at 40 years old. After living with pain for a few years I was at a point where I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights because it was hard to live, to be a mom and homeschool my kids when I every step I took and move I made hurt. During those barely moving years I continued to gain more and more weight. The lack of activity and at least getting a little feel good from my ice cream, starbucks, etc. at night led to me reaching my highest weight ever. I was miserable physically. Because I also had had a lot of tummy troubles for almost two years, my doctor asked me to stop eating anything with gluten in it and see what happened. I was shocked, and quite frankly really disappointed that within a week my tummy problems were gone. I did not want to be gluten free, I did not like gluten free, so I though it must have been a fluke and tested my theory (more than once) only to find that it was true, I could not eat gluten. As bummed as this carb addict was to discover that, I was truly fascinated and amazed to learn the power of food. Not only did my tummy get fixed but there was a reduction in the pain I felt through my body. Around this time we finally figured out that I have an autoimmune disease called Ankylosing Spondylitis, which is basically an inflammatory disease, a for of arthritis that affects my spine, sacroiliac joints and my feet. This is why I had been living in pain. AS is a lifelong disease but there are options to manage it, I can give myself shots or take of an immunosuppressant or biologics medications but I learned that for some people, a pretty strict diet without many starches like grains and beans helps. Because I had seen what an amazing difference removing gluten had made for me I decided to try the AS diet first. In a month my pain was almost gone, or at least definitely at a manageable level. Again, I'm amazed at the power and effects of food so from there I read and researched everything I could and completely changed my diet. I no longer eat any sugar, including honey or maple syrup or artificial sweeteners, everything I eat at home is organic, grass fed, pastured meats and eggs from my own chickens and mostly raw dairy, nothing I can't pronounce, etc.- just real, natural foods. Have I mentioned the power of food is amazing. A month into this new healthy lifestyle. I was so excited to hear that Channel had created the level E class. I could not do one sit up, any in and outs, anything that involved impact, a push up, etc (you get the picture) so there was no way I would have come to a regular class but the Level E brought comfort so I came. Here's the part that I couldn't believe- the people were so kind to me. I had known Channel for years so I knew she would be accepting of me and kind but everyone else...really? They encouraged me. I barely did anything compared to others and people were saying things like, great job and you've got this Stephanie. There were times I didn't feel like that, I didn't feel like I had it at all, it wasn't in me, and I literally felt like I was too far gone and cried right there at bootcamp. The part that is the most awesome and in itself sums up what this place is is this- every single time someone encouraged me, people I didn't even know honestly cared and went out of their way to help me. If it were not for those bootcampers and coaches I would have left crying and never come back. Thank You to every single one of you!!! I am so blessed by you all and thankful for the new friendships I have formed here. As of today, I am 50 pounds lighter but I'm happy to be at the point where it's about being healthy, about quality of life, the little things like being able to carry my sleepy daughter up the stairs, able to jump on the trampoline with my kids, let my son try to teach me to ride a ripstick, carry the groceries inside with no problem (even the cases of bottled water! ;) ) and it's about helping other people by encouraging and supporting them and letting them know that they can do this, just as y'all have done for me. I've got a ways to go and still can't do a good push up or pull up, etc. but I now know that thanks to learning to make healthy choices, Amazen Boot Camp and Iron Antler CrossFit and the love and kindness that fills this place, I've actually got this! Stephanie Scott |